- Dr. Gerald Jeffers
The leaves are all slowly make their
descent and I am reminded that one season is ending and a new season is
beginning. I am grateful that God showed me an important principle in nature,
that I can’t hold on to certain things forever, times and seasons are always
changing. Several times this was very frustrating to me, especially the time
when I started realizing that I was supposed to go back to Germany.
Let me explain.
The first two years of college were
not easy for me. Between working, classes, studying, car maitenance, excercise,
eating right, exams, winter, financial hurdles, new questions and having my
faith challenged daily by people who mocked God, it was nothing short of a
miracle in my fourth semester that I finally began to find a balance. I
actually prayed for God to help me manage my time. Ironically, it started with
devoting my first hour to Him, which I struggled with for a while, knowing that
this literally left me with less time, but when I did...somehow I was much more
productive, less tired and more motivated even though I had „less time“.
Anyways.
I finally found the
sweet spot and was getting good grades, excercising regularly, eating well...I
even was able to had a dog to the mix!
The only way I can describe my
feelings when it finally sunk in that there was about to be a radical season
change is like that feeling when it is your turn to open a present from your
grandma in front of her, and you unwrap it so slowly that you can think of a
grateful comment no matter what it is so her feelings aren’t hurt. You know?
Cautiously, peeling back the layers of reality, with eyes half-squinted I
accepted that Germany again was the present inside.
Even on the plane ride my stomach
churned, I didn’t want to leave home I thought. After evaluation, even if I
could have all of my family and belongings over here, I still wouldn’t have
wanted to leave. Then I realized the source of my hesitation, I was comfortable.
I learned it takes unbalance to
reach an equilibrium. Nothing goes from one state of equilibrium to a higher
state of equilibrium, without a time frame of disorder and unbalance. Two years
it had taken me to reach an equilbrium. I am not kidding, I think it was two
weeks I enjoyed the groove, then God
showed His plan to me.
Unbalance – again! Nooo!! I
had really given my every measure of emotional, physical and spiritual strength
to finally achieve a routine that balanced my duties.
Now, after another two hard months
of struggling, searching, new questions, new people, new problems, new city,
new language, new everything I can
look back and say that I am so glad, I
submitted to God’s plan and left my state of equilibirum for the sake of His
calling. It seems this year has been tailor made for me. It is adding
immense value to my education ( I will be done with by Bachelor’s Degree in
German Studies next spring) but even moreso to my spiritual maturity.
Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.” 2 Timothy 4:2
Long story short, my conclusion has
been this...the best way to transtition from change to change, season to
season, is to be perpetually giving praise to God! Why? It reminds us to give
thanks in every circumstance...the Bible says that this is the will of God. And
it truly helps. I saw a mother take a toy away from her child as they were
getting of the tram. The child started crying, wailing. All he knows is he
doesn’t have his toy. I laughed then realized I was doing the same thing.
Crying that my achieved equilibrium was being altered again. I didn’t think I
had the emotional strength to go through the ringer again...but the joy of the
Lord is my strength and I am so glad to
be here.
P.S. This post was
originally going to be a gratitutde one, but it took a different turn. I will
just add this note. The first two months were quite spectacular because of the
people I meant. Thank you to the Univeristy (both home and here), to my family
and to my good friend Kekse. She walked up to me during a hike, offered her
hand to introduce herself and we haven’t stopped talking since. You have been
such a joy to spend time with and I will never forget your hospitality and
kindness towards me. Thank you to my girl from Italy, you will always be in my
life and heart. I remember the days my face hurt from smiling so much. Thank
you even to my Hausmeister....who always takes the time to come right away,
even when I see him in passing to fix something in my Wohnung(apartment). I am so grateful.
