Today really feels like a beginning and an end of a season. Since I got
here in September I haven’t felt myself completely. Going from one ailment to
the next, one challenge to the next, one test to the next, it never seemed to
stop…where was that person who came early, stayed late and did extra
assignments? This tired, overwhelmed person in the mirror really shocked me.
One day I didn’t even recognize the person looking back.
I really don’t like the feeling of trying to keep my head above water, I
am used to surfing the waves and challenges. I like coming to classes with
extra questions after doing my own research and inquiring about the upcoming
lesson. Yet I found myself this semester biking to classes like a mad man to be
there on time, let alone early.
But something happened a couple of days ago. I was so tired of being tired. I felt desperate, even to the point of
tears to have the old me back. I tried with exercise, sleep, church and diet to
recreate what I did at home so I would feel normal again. For two months it was
all without avail.
Then, in complete hopelessness I put my hand on my head and prayed for
myself. Like King David said we have to encourage ourselves. Something
changed…it really did because I am back!
I have energy, motivation and enthusiasm. I’m not sure if it was the prayer but
I also have an inkling that through my months of confusion, it was my faithful
reading of the Bible and seeking God’s presence that was my lifeline through
whatever was happening to me. And you know what? I didn’t get the old me back…I
got a new me, a different me. Though I am still not sure exactly what was going
on, I learned two big lessons. Through the fog stay faithful to your time with God
and His Word and everything will be okay. Secondly, it is not over until it's over....as long as you have breath it is never too late and you're never too far to start a dialogue with God.
