Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Tempest && Trust

This postcard is from a museum I went to in Zürich last weekend. It really embodied what I was feeling that day...like I said, this month has been very hard!


Then as this song was playing in the background while doing homework...I realised it really was an answer to me....You are God over the storm...I have to encourage myself with these words.. 



Lyrics:
I see Your fingerprints
The work of Your hands
It's all in Your hands
I see the evidence
Leaving nothing to chance
The world's in Your hands 
So I rest in Your promises
Now I am sure of this
I'm Yours
Let the waters rise
I will stand as the oceans roar
Let the earth shake beneath me
Let the mountains fall
You are God over the storm
And I am Yours
I hear the voice of love
Calling me home
To where I belong
It cripples every fear
And the ones who will kneel
Will walk away healed 
So I rest in Your promises
Now I am sure of this
I'm Yours
No power is strong enough
To separate me from Your love
I'm Yours…
So let the waters rise
I will stand as the oceans roar
Let the earth shake beneath me
Let the mountains fall
You are God over the storm
And I am Yours
Even the thunder and the wind obey
At the command of my Father, Father
I set my feet upon Your mighty name
So let the rain fall harder, harder
So take my everything, my flesh and blood
I'll lay me down on the altar, altar
I am forever covered in Your love
So let the rain fall hard
So let the waters rise
I will stand as the oceans roar
Let the earth shake beneath me
Let the mountains fall
You are God over the storm
And I am Yours
Let the waters rise
I will stand as the oceans roar
Let the earth shake beneath me
Let the mountains fall
You are God over the storm
And I am Yours
You are God over the storm
And I am Yours




Forget Not





Despite the struggle and my shortcomings...I am still here! This verse always, always, always makes me smile...&& this is the view from my room :)
By this I know that thou favourest me, because mine enemy doth not triumph over me (Psalm 41:11).

Water&Fire

I started listening to this song two summers ago...little did I know with every time I listened it softened my iron tight grip on my will, my dreams and my "plan".
I lay down my plans, give up my rights, let you take control of this surrendered life...
Two years later, especially now, I can testify that God's plans are indeed good and better than anything we could conjure up for ourselves. They are good, but not easy. 
In shaking, you remain...




Lyrics..
Lord of the mountains and sea
You are treading a path set for me
God of the seasons and sky
You have always been holding my life
Lord
You are the Shepherd of my soul
I lay down my plans, I give up my rights
You comfort, You sustain
In shaking You remain
Unmoved and unafraid
Through the valleys, lead me in your wisdom

Shepherd of my soul
Forever and always you lead me
By still waters, lead me
And let You take control of this surrendered life
Through valleys of shadow and
death I am not afraid
By my Father’s breath every
star in the sky was made
And who can I fear when you’re
standing right here by my side
Always leading, protecting and
guarding my left and my right
Father You make all things new
Great God of creation And Father 
You will always be my
rock and salvation
Another song as a follow up to the last blog post (which may have sound melancholy to most...but it is a good thing I promise) is Strahan - Daily Bread. This song has always been very moving to me, especially lately, there is a beautiful river running through Freiburg. I always think of this song when I go there.

Here are the lyrics..
I’ll stand by the river bed
And watch the autumn leaves
Theres I wait there I’ll wait for you to speak
This stone walled fortress
of a heart is dry and blue
But I believe and and trust you’l hear when I sing
Take my soul Lord
Take my soul Lord
You are water you are fire
You are jealous you desire
You are everything this world could ever need
You are bread and you are blood
Open hands and open heart
You are everything this world could ever need
I step with a little faith
Like blood out of a stone
Each blind movement is teaching me to see
I know of nothing 
To come just what has been
So I believe everything you have taught me
Take my soul Lord
Take my soul Lord 
You are water you are fire
You are burdened you desire
You are everything this world could ever need
You are jealous you are son
Open hands enduring one
You are everything this world could ever need


Enjoy.

Once And For All

Hello Friends && Family - 

This month has been very, very intense.

It started with the recommendation to read Hind's Feet on High Places, written by Hannah Hurnard. In short, the story is about laying down every single desire, the ones even natural to man. Of course, I could explain the verses and the context precisely and what has happened to me personally. But, I really don't have the time right now! Plus, I'm giving the guidelines, the bare bones so that you can see the process. As I can imagine it is similar for each believer. 
Jesus is speaking, "And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me."

Deny himself!! A part of every human shrinks back even just reading that. But I am willing, because Jesus said it is necessary and also because He will help. So if I deny myself, what then am I operating from, if not from my natural intellect? Check out Romans.

"That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God." Romans 8:4-8

The series of Dr. Gerald Jeffer's sermons over this last summer have given me a lot of foundation on this topic too. It has been very blatantly reoccurring. So much that I can't deny it! I am going through this process. Here is a link where Dr. Gerald Jeffers illuminates an amazing point... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9AN1tawHg0

"God created us with needs. These needs, we need every day..food...water...sleep.

Then, I came across a song by Lauren Daigle, Once and For All. I find it so beautiful. It has the same beauty I experienced when reading Hind's Feet...My spirit was indeed willing, but my flesh was weak (Matthew 26:41). Here are the lyrics, the melody is also very nice.

O Help me to lay it down
Oh, Lord I'll lay it down 
O let this be where I die
My Lord with thee crucified
Be lifted high as my kingdom fall
Once and for all, once and for all
There is victory in my saviors loss
and In the crimson flowing from the cross
Pour over me, pour over me
O let this be where I die
My Lord with thee crucified
Be lifted high as my kingdom fall
Once and for all, once and for all
O Lord I lay it down
O Lord I lay it down
Help me to lay it down
O Lord I lay it down
O let this be where I die
My Lord with thee crucified
Be lifted high as my kingdom fall
Once and for all
Once and for all
O Once and for all

And what would this blog be without one of my own sappy poems/thoughts? Here goes. The first one I wrote during class. 

flesh, flesh, flesh!
the destruction, the pain, unnecessary!
you bring me to destruction,
and always resist the Spirit,
die, be crucified, submit!
then, like an eagle taking flight,
liberated, I take my place, forever,
fly away, come away, take away,
where carnal mind is absent,
where I follow Your Spirit only.




Monday, October 19, 2015

Birthday Girl



Sunday was my birthday! I wanted to do a half marathon (actually a full marathon), but I’ve chosen to listen to the signals of what my body is saying. This had lead me to be for the most part vegan and to run up to fifteen miles for fun. Being able to run 13 miles just happened over the course of the last couple years. I started running one mile, then walking the other mile back. Just by doing this over and over (and over and over) again, I was eventually to go a little bit further and further (and further and further).

Even though I haven’t trained over the last month, I knew I could do the 13 mile run if I wished. However, I had to be true to myself and say “you have barely run the last month…do the 7 mile run”, so I did.

The running club from my university was there and I made some (very small) small talk. They asked if I wanted to do the warm up with them, I politely declined. Which turned out to be a great decision because they ended up doing sprints. Hahahah that is not how I wanted to make my first impression with twenty new people I would be seeing for the next year. Plus, I concluded I only had a set amount of Running Energy and I needed all of it to do the 7 miles.

So while they sprinted, I did some weird looking Tai Chi moves. Which was fine, because the guy next to me was doing some horrifying looking “stretches” , one where he was violently flopping his torso from side to side. Big thanks to Danny Dreyer and his workshop for showing me a different approach to running and fitness.

As the time approached 10:30 everyone started crowding the line. I hung out in the back next to the floppy guy. Unlike my first half marathon in Hartford, everyone counted down 10..9..8..7..6…5..4…3…2…1..Los! (Go!) rather than the gun shot. The countdown was very cute (and inexpensive I guess) because when was the last time you counted down (kindergarten)??

For the first 50 minutes I was the last person. I knew this, because the volunteer bicyclist who kept track were hot on my heels haha. Perhaps, I would have run even slower if they weren’t. My goal, for now, is not speed. I’ve been taught and have experienced speed is a byproduct of good form and relaxation.

With only two miles left I felt a huge release of some kind. I can only illustrate it like this. When you have coffee or sugar, you get energy. This energy doesn’t last the whole day, just a set period of time. Then there is energy you feel from really deep inside of you and it is constant and unwavering.  I ‘m not talking about some philosophical idea of “energy”, but literally energy (Unit:Joules).

Nevertheless, running fast just happened. And fast I ran. The last miles were up hills (my strength) and on those hills I was passing other runners left and right. Sometimes I would pass several at once, others I would see in the distance and slowly close the gap as I beebopped along. They gave a look of surprise as I sped past them singing When the Saints Go Marching In hahah.

I know I wrote a lot, so here is a picture of a turtle in my lake for a quick break.



I said I didn’t care about what time it took (and I didn’t) and I didn’t plan on passing people or getting competitive. However with 1000 meters left there was a lady in a purple sweatshirt very, very far away from me that I just had to pass. I really did. And I did. There was no huge finale or anyone to pat you on the back as you hopped over the finish line sensor (which recorded your time). Just the cool fact that you ran through the woods on a brisk Sunday morning.

As I was leaving to head home, from the list I saw that in the last 15 minutes I passed 41 people. Those might have been the fastest miles I’ve ever done (my lowest is 6:30).

While I was zipping along, a spiritual parallel become increasingly evident. It is no mistake that Paul compares the Christian life, not only as a walk but as a race.

I will explain in details later. I thought I could finish this (already lengthy post) after I got home from my first day of classes…but I think I’m too tired. When I got home I almost washed my hands with toothpaste.




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