An Ice Shattering Dance

Piece of a broken frozen puddle

 

This example is the only way I can describe to you how my life has suddenly turned. Imagine a tribal dancer circling around a fire.  He moves to the beating of drums, dancing steadily faster and faster. With grace his feet only skim the ground as he contorts his body to the sounds. The drums beat with his heart, it races like the feet of a thousand buffalo surging through the valley side. He moves and dances until he is spinning out of control, twisting, twirling and throwing his hands up in the air.

Now I sit here with my hands thrown up in the air, I can’t do this dance or at least not alone. The feeling of being home has finally settled in, which means I have started pursuing more interests and making more social connections. My dance starts early in the morning and lasts until I collapse onto my bed. Starting, maintaining, and managing a new lifestyle is a dance. That without grace and a ground beat will set someone spinning. I feel like a leaf swirling down from the biggest oak tree in the forest. Sometime in the last week everything turned into a blur of madness. By madness I don’t mean I was hectically running around everywhere, but my day lost its beat which set me into madness. A dancer always needs a steady beat.

Passing railroad across the street from my house

Not a satelitte picture, just a puddle!

 Feeling like an outsider is not comfortable. One of the most difficult challenges I have been faced with as being an exchange student is the lack of familiarity. When I had time alone I spent it searching God’s face and discovering how loyal of a friend He is. It felt like He was all I had so I clung to Him. Upon my request, He gave me relationships that helped me discover more about my self, and relationships that allowed me to be the quirky me. Now comfortable with friends and a situated life pattern I began the dance again. But like the children of Israel who had time after time forgotten God after He had supplied all their needs, so had I left Jesus. He gave me my first beat and brought me to a dance, and once I had the rhythm I danced away forgetting He had ever supplied me with music. To put it simply, I had lost him in the dance of every day. That is where a lot of people trip, they strive and seek and touch the hem of God’s garment until He finally blesses them. Then once they have received the blessings they forget the one that blessed them. Thankfully, my ‘time out’ where I had to think over what I did wrong, did not consist of me wandering through a desert for forty years. But instead I had a week of going to bed too late, waking up too early, talking too much with myself and too little with Him. Don’t misunderstand me, I still sought His Face but it was with a half focus.  In Proverbs  5:26 we are told to ‘Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. (27) Turn not to the right hand nor to the left remove thy foot from evil.’ I danced without thinking where I was putting my feet. I was moving and achieving through my day but somehow not achieving anything at all. A professional runner does not look to the sides during a race. A half focused soldier does not survive the battle field; a half focused lover will lose his love. Lukewarm coals do not keep the fire burning.

More Puddle Ice!

As I reflect this last week a scripture comes to mind. John wrote in Revelation 3:15 to the Church of Laodicea ‘I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold or hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth’.  There’s my answer, being lukewarm or half-focused doesn’t work in relationships or life. I’m sure you have experienced this to a degree before. You come home to a friend, family member, or spouse and want to share your day with them. Filled with enthusiasm you begin your story but notice they won’t remove their focus from the TV or from texting. ‘Are you listening?’ You ask. ‘Yes of course I am’ they reply not moving their head. I don’t know about you but at this point my motivation to speak further is totally gone. Either you can totally listen to me or say we should talk another time. Half-listening offends the speaker and hinders the listener from sharing joy with the person speaking. It’s frustrating for everyone. Doing anything with a ‘half-heart’ is not worth it. I’ve learned not to begin something if I know I am only going to give my half-best.

Frosted Leaves

 

Puddle Puddle Puddle!

Don’t confuse this precept with taking on more activities or joining more committees. What I believe we are to learn from this scripture is to give our absolute one-hundred percent best in everything we do big or small. I strive to achieve this, but I am human. I have my setbacks. Waking up before I fulfilled my eight hour sleep quota is not my specialty. A lot of mornings consist of me sloshing coffee after coffee into my mouth to wake my brain up. What I want to tell you guys is not that I need more sleep, but that even though its hard I am giving this relationship my best. Even if my best is a Monday morning sleepy eyed, sleep deprived, seventeen year old girl mumbling praise songs I think God respects that. I'm going to continue to dance the dance and run the race with my whole heart. I hope you share the awesomness of this revelation with me, and see it the way He showed me!

Playing with a square of ice

As always, questions and comments are welcome.

Have fun dancing this week!

Blessings, Genevieve